Shinigami Speed Dating Night
by Azkas19
Summary: How do I love thee, Will? Grell has only one good reason. Later on, Eric Slingby proved to be her friend in need when everyone else was in a festive mood.
1. Darling, only I can speak William

(Will/Grell/ platonic Eric, but the rest of the reapers are here as well)

**Grell's a female in this one, simply because I lament the lack of female Reapers in the series (even though they do technically exist) and I don't want to create OCs. **

**Kuroshitsuji and all its characters belongs to Yana Toboso. **

Ronald Knox's idea of a Shinigami Speed Dating Night was, naturally vetoed off by William. Never before he had heard such a ridiculous notion, and that's saying a lot, considering the amount of…colourful characters the London Dispatch branch had been saddled with. The Supervisor sometimes wondered if Reapers were sent here as some form of punishment.

"Why are you doing this?"

Grell paused, lipstick halfway to her mouth, one pencilled eyebrow cocked up in surprise. The rest of the boys were waiting for her in the pub and she, naturally, was the last person to get ready.

"What is it, Willie love?" she asked. "Is there a spelling mistake in my report?"

"No, I mean…you have your own cubicle. Why can't you just get ready there?"

"What, and have all the other blokes watch as I strip? Do you really want that?"

William's expression hardened as he glared at her. "I hope you're not expecting me to answer that."

She laughed, waving a hand dismissively. By now she was immune to that Look. When it comes to William, she had the self-preservation of a plastic duck in a cyclone. Perhaps that was what keeping her safe all these years. She was never afraid of him, unless when he's really angry.

"Will, you have a cupboard in here which contains – let's face it – two spare suits, a pair of shoes and a mummified moth. There's _plenty _of space left! So I thought it wouldn't do much harm if I were to maybe bring over some of _my _clothes so that yours won't be so lost and alone in there."

"Charming," William dryly said as he scrutinized the report before him. "I'm sure they'll get along just fine, reproducing until they form a small colony. Before I know it, the doorway to a magical kingdom sprouts up from the back."

"Ooh, you really think so?" Grell spun around, eyes sparkling.

"No."

She sagged, exasperated. "Look, it's not like I invaded your personal space. All I did was bring in my clothes and this mirror," she said, tapping the one stuck on the wall beside the door. "After all, a lady must always look her best. Don't you agree?"

"That is my point precisely. Why'd you bring them in the first place? I mean…why here?"

"I already told you, darling-"

"Why me?"

"Huh?"

For a few seconds, the Goddess stood there with a perplexed expression on her lovely made-up face. Once again Planet Grell had to retune her antenna to match Planet William's wavelength.

She suddenly smiled.

"What you're really asking," she said, sauntering over to his desk, "is why I chose you? Why I want you?"

"I wouldn't exactly put it that way, but…"

"Hm?"

"Yes, I suppose so."

"Oh, Will…if only you'd been listening to what I've been saying all this while, then surely you know the answer by now!" she exclaimed, happy that they were actually having this kind of conversation. Usually when they were in the office, it was always work related. Come to think of it, it was work too whenever they were alone outside. Hmm.

She'd have to fix that up eventually.

"You're such a hard worker, Will," she said, oiling her way onto his lap. He had to stop whatever he was doing: Grell's hips was like an invading Spanish flotilla…it's still coming whether he liked it or not. Slender arms wrapped around his neck. "You need someone to remind you to loosen up a bit. Besides, you really are the most _darling_ man I've ever met!"

William frowned. He and 'darling man' shouldn't be in the same sentence. It could cause World War 3.

"If you can't come up with a tangible reason, then don't bother!" he said, attempting to dislodge her.

She held on fast. "Alright, alright…fine. I'll give something that at least you would understand." She paused, sucking in a breath dramatically. "You can spend your entire, eternal existance searching all four corners of the earth; maybe do a little bit of research, ponder things over in that adorable anal retentive way of yours-" she wrinkled her nose teasingly at his disgusted expression, "And I promise you this: you will NEVER find any woman other than myself bold enough to get within three feet radius from you, much less put up with all of your…um, quirks."

She beamed.

He glared.

"I don't have quirks."

"Sure you do, Willie love. Everybody does."

"If I did, then I would know about it."

"Of course, of course. Nobody knows you as well as you do," Grell sagely nodded, but with a twisted smirk on her lips.

She surprised him with a kiss. He, hesitantly at first, responded.

"Now, look here," she said, breaking away. She placed her right hand flat on the desk, palm downwards with fingers stretched apart. "Don't you think my hand's looking a wee bit empty, darling?"

William took note the garish red nail polish, the graceful contours of her fingers, her pale skin…

"No. Why?"

Her grin never left her face. "They say diamonds are a girl's best friend."

"It's not shoes?"

"Well, a lot of things are…but you can't wear shoes on your finger now, can you?"

"Then diamonds can be anything. Earrings, bracelet, ring-" William broke off, realization dawning. "You mean, you want us to…"

"Silly, we're not booking a chapel and priest anytime soon. I just thought that it'd be a nice gesture, that's all."

"I'm very sure I didn't miss our anniversary…"

"No, darling. That's months away." She patted him as she got up, whispering in his ear: "I take Tiffany's and Cartier. I believe they're having a sale right now."

She called over her shoulder as she made her way back to the mirror. "Be a dear and write that down in your calendar. In case you forget. Although, I know you never would. You have _such_ good memory, Will! I wish I could remember half the things you do. Oh, and…" she paused in her primping and turned around. "I know I have one valid reason for loving you."

William looked up, expectant.

"It's because only I can speak William, darling."

The smile he gave her was fleeting, like lightning…but it was genuine. Affectionate.

Warm, even.

Grell finished up and now stood in the middle of the room, arms outstretched. "Now give your Grellie Jellybaby a nice big hug. Go on!" she commanded.

"No."

"William T. Spears, do not make me go over there and get you," she growled menacingly.

He leaned back and met her eyes with his own challenging stare. "I dare you to."

She was taken aback, but a crafty grin soon split her face in half.

She was rubbing in on him.

But only just. Barely even a scratch on the surface.

Yet that's still good enough for her.


	2. To Which Grell Confided Her Fears

**Kuroshitsuji and all its characters belongs to Yana Toboso. **

Ronald Knox may well have been the alpha male of the night. Nobody else was participating in the speed date, save for the Undertaker…but let's face it: all the girls found him creepy.

Like King Arthur, the youngest shinigami held court at the biggest table booked for the occasion. He was a party all by himself: Grell could hear the laughter from where she sat at the bar.

A drink suddenly materialized before her.

"Yo, doll. 'Sup?"

She grinned at Eric Slingby, who lounged casually against the bar top, sipping his beer.

"When I saw you walk through that door, I was like: 'Whoah! Now that's a piece of ass I'd like to get on with.'" He winked.

She punched him playfully in the shoulder. It was still enough to cause the big man to stumble and spill half his drink. She wasn't dubbed the second strongest shinigami in the department for no reason. If she put her mind to it, she'd probably be able to slice William into eight pieces with that chainsaw of hers before he could even finish saying 'overtime'.

"Don't let Alan hear that, love."

Eric stared mournfully at his glass before motioning the bartender for another. "He's on duty tonight. I don't see the boss around either. So that leaves you and me. Ronnie and Undertaker don't count."

"Yeah, I think they're already having a good time," Grell said, watching the Undertaker giggle into a terrified girl's ear.

"So…" Eric said nonchalantly. "I heard that you've been seeing the company doctor. Good news, I hope…?"

The question hung in the air like a car teetering over a cliff.

Grell bit her lip.

"No. The result's still the same," she said.

Eric's expression darkened.

"There won't be any little Wills and Grells running around anytime soon, love. If ever."

"Wha-? That's-"

"Oh, the silly doctor gave such complicated explanations…scar tissues, ectopic pregnancy…I couldn't possibly remember them all!" she laughed. "You know how they are…always trying to make like they're smarter than you!"

The smile she gave was bright, but Eric was no fool. He could briefly see the tears pooling the corners of her eyes before she turned away.

Wordlessly, he set down his glass and hugged her from behind, kissing the top of her head as he did so.

"Does William know, princess?" he asked.

"Not yet. But he'll be fine with it. I know he does. He'd probably say it's too troublesome to raise children anyway…that kind of thing."

"You know he doesn't mean that, Grell."

"Yeah." She paused a moment, before choking out: "He wants me to get a psychological evaluation, Eric."

"For what?"

"He said that Division Head ordered it. After the…after the…Jack the Ripper case. They wanted to see if I'm fit to carry on my duties. Frankly I just think that William's afraid that he'd wake up one night and find out I'd painted the walls with his intestines."

"Come on, that's not-"

"Oh deary deary God," at this point her face crumbled, tears falling freely. "Am I going to bedlam for this?"

"Hush, doll. You're not going anywhere. You'll be fine. William'll make sure that you are."

"You think so?"

"I know so," Eric firmly countered. "He may be a snooty, uptight, insufferable-"

"Yes, yes, move along."

"-prick, but he'll never leave you. It's just not in him. Trust me on this. Ask anyone in the department and they'll say the same thing as I do. Well," he backpedaled, "mostly the insufferable prick part, but…you know what I mean."

She laughed, and leaned against him, enjoying a moment of companionable silence as they watched Ronald's table erupt with laughter. Apparently the Undertaker does a very good impersonation of Queen Victoria.

"Now," Eric said, turning Grell around. "Why don't you go fix that pretty face of yours? I'm a bit rusty, but I'm sure I still know how to give a lady a good time."

"Eric, love…that's-" at that point she spotted William entering the pub. Hm, that's funny. He'd mentioned that he had so much work (as usual) to complete that he won't be coming.

"Boss," Eric nodded, stepping away as the superior joined them.

"Eric." To Grell he said: "You've only gone out for half an hour and you're already cheating on me?" He paused. "Have you been crying?" he asked, sliding a suspicious glare towards Eric.

"Oh, Will!" Grell exclaimed, draping herself around the man. "The Undertaker does the most _amazing_ impersonations! I laughed until I cried…and I think I almost peed myself! Hahaha!"

"Grell, please refrain from saying such disgusting things in public."

"Why? You prefer to hear me say it when we're alone? Hm?"

"Eric, how come you're not part of this…" William picked at the word as if it was something particularly foul, like Sebastian Michaelis, "speed date?"

"What, and have Alan tan my arse, boss? No thanks. Not that I'd mind, but…no thanks."

There was a brief silence as the three of them unwittingly played a rather disturbing cinematic record in their minds.

"Hm. Right," was all William could say.

Grell tugged at his arm. "Willie love, I'm so glad you came! Let's get a round of drinks for everyone! After all, it's not always we see you outside the office like this!"

"Well, since you've put it-"

"You're buying."

"What?"

"Come on, darling," the Mangosteen Goddess wheedled, baring her sharp teeth. "Show your employees what a nice, caring boss you really are. I'm sure you'll find reports on your desk two times faster than it usually takes if you do it this way."

William treated her with his trademark glare. When that failed to work, he sighed. "Very well…but just this once."

"Whoo-hoo! Free drinks, everyone!" Eric whooped towards Ronald's table. "The boss's buying!"

Amidst their clamouring, Grell reached down and squeezed William's hand. "What's the matter, Will? Worried that a young, strapping shinigami would come and sweep me off my fabulous heels?"

"Not bloody likely. I just needed a drink, that's all." Too late, Grell caught the furtive glance he gave Eric before resuming his usual glare towards the bartender.

"Hm," she happily hummed as she leaned over. "I thought so."

THE END


End file.
